Sofa

You might have noticed in pictures that we have an "L" shaped sofa in our living room. That's because we have a narrow room there and had to make the most out of the space. And because we like to veg and sleep on the sofa.

We fold clothes, tickle children, sneak snacks and crash there many days.

But what I found out tonight is that the sofa takes back for all that it gives us.

I decided to check out what might be living underneath the sofa.
It had nearly taken everything. Good thing I got there just in time.

Below are the contents of what I found under the sofa tonight {lined up as if it were Christmas morning- because I very well may just hide this stuff and give it to my children for Christmas!}:

My favorite find was this man's mullet wig.

There were also 24 {Twenty. Four.} Thomas Trains in attendance {a few not shown here}. One for every hour of the day.

And also the Jesus monster truck we've been missing.

Because that's how we roll.

What I can't understand is how a single solitary Twix bar made it's way out of my grip.
Lucky little bar.

Have you ever cleaned underneath your sofa and been surprised? I'm so thankful there is not rotting milk under there. Or a live animal. It would have been entertained, though!

I'm off to hide that recorder back under the sofa. I'm sending it as a peace offering to the sofa and my ears and hoping it doesn't ask me to return the Twix!

Y'all, we're having a Yard Sale!

Hello, everyone. This is Hillary LIVE and in technicolor. I am so thankful for y'all putting up with my little break and some re-runs. It's like summer TV, but without the bad reality shows.

I have not accomplished what I intended this week, nor have I checked off any day's worth of tasks on the to-do list. {Hold your Employee of the Year awards, please.} I have been able to work out every day and sleep. Yes, sleep! You should try it; it's good stuff.

With all this extra sleep in my life, crazy things started happening. I've taken my kids on fun field trips every day and have yelled at them 28% less often. And Jason and I set all kinds of over-achieving goals and decided we'd have a yard sale on Saturday. We're working on World Peace next weekend if the weather is still nice.

I do love a yard sale, but the prep work involved is much like moving. And deep cleaning. Only moving and deep cleaning stuff you don't want anymore, but you have to care enough about it to make someone else want it. Ugh.

Would you like a tour of some of the items that will be in the yard sale?
I thought you might. Come on over!

The biggest thing we want to get rid of is this Queen sized bed with headboard and matching dresser. It's from Pier 1 and just not being used since we turned the spare bedroom into our crap accumulating play room.

Next on the chopping block is a lovely cut chenille sofa from our old house. {Broom, kite and rake not included, but could be for the right price.}

Ooh! I love these fun paintings, but I just don't a place for them anymore. The top ones are from a local-ish {just over the TN state line} artist, Joanna, and are going to be really hard to part with. But they don't fit into the new breakfast room. I might have to sneak these back upstairs to hug them a little bit more.

And this is an adorable Southern Living at Home painting that I just can't place.
We have a Queen and King sized down duvet and covers for each. Then there are things like a fancy toile dog bed, a Pottery Barn corner shelf and a fun metal candle holder for the wall.

And don't get me started on the Clinique bonus goodies that have never been touched- bags of them. I'm a sucker for a bonus. You'd think I wouldn't have an eye wrinkle, but you would be wrong.

Oh, my at the games. Do you think someone I might or might not be married to loves Star Wars?

And since I'm dishing on him, I'll admit I have a bit of a picture frame issue. {And that basket over there in the corner is full of stuffed animals and other unloved kids stuff.}

We have an Xbox to sell, too!

You name it {TV, cafe table and chairs, Thomas trains- not mine, my friend Kat's, curtains, pillows and maybe even a surprise!}, we've got it! So, come on!

Blog readers get a special discount, so be sure to let me know.

If you are in the North AL, Southern TN area, then come on into Huntsville and we are off Bailey Cove near SE Tar-jhay. Just follow the signs.

And bring your ones and your change.
Because I will most likely take a quarter for that.

Flashback: My Stint as a Stage Mom

This post originally published July 24, 2009

I'm sure you are picturing me on Toddlers and Tiaras right now, but I don't think I could handle that stage dad they keep showing on the previews. The one who teaches his daughter the "routines"? Please tell me you've seen that. A little disturbing for my taste.

Back to the story: my friend Kathy at Sew Beautiful {who featured Henry and Ollie in her magazine} called me this week to ask if they could model at the Sew Beautiful Conference fashion show. Of course I said yes, like any mother in the world would have, right?

So we get to the Civic Center, pay our $5 to park and find the dressing rooms for the fashion show. There were signs everywhere directing us, the clothes were laid out with names on them, instructions were printed as to what to wear, where to go, how to return, etc. These people have their act together.

Here's the thing I learned very quickly: These People Have GIRLS.

There is a huge gender difference here and I don't know if they pull little girls aside to teach this, but my boys missed the class. They could not give a flying rip about a fashion show. I got them dressed and they were so excited to tear into the cool gifts that Kathy got them for participating.

Here is Henry in his cute Robot smock jumper and extremely loud new whistle. {For your sewing folks, this pattern will be in the November issue of Sew Beautiful. Everyone else *ahem* including ME, please resume below:}

Ollie is wearing the same pattern {rockets and robots}, but from what I can tell, it's a bowling shirt.
On another note, can anyone honestly tell me that they think this child below looks 3? I'll have you know- he is- although he looks 5. I have proof of his age; I was there when he was born.

Here are my guys in their matching outfits. They looked so cute together!

Ollie's gift for participating was a box of legos. Jason felt it was necessary to put them together ASAP. So, here you have my dressing room full of 3 boys.

And we were actually a little early *This. Never. Happens.* and had too much time to kill. Just enough time to get really dirty in other people's clothes.

Finally, the time to go on stage was here. The girls were so excited! They were running down the hallways, primping their hair in the mirrors at the last minute, adjusting their tiaras , etc.
Jason left to go take pictures/ video and I was going to walk the boys down the aisle in case of emergency.
Ollie starts to have a conniption about wanting Daddy. So, they scoot us to the front of the line since I have a screamer.
Please note this is where "Emergency" is declared and I am now walking down the runway with them. Below is the only picture we have of the big event:

Halfway down the L-O-N-G catwalk in front of 300 old ladies people, Ollie spots Jason and jumps off the runway to a gasp in the audience.
All the while, Kathy is emcee-ing in the background and describing their outfits.
Henry then sees his moment to shine and starts a full-on sprint down the remainder of the walk way. He gets a roar of laughter from the geriatric sewing committee and almost makes it into someone's arms at the end until he turns around and I catch him. And have to carry him back the rest of the way.

As I'm returning with one child on hip and one screaming in the distance, I see a girl with long, curled, red hair in a beautiful pink dress made by her grandmother {I hear Kathy saying}. She knew what she was doing; she walked that runway like she owned the joint. I think she was about 18 months old.

And this is the difference between boys and girls. Is there something in their genetics that makes them pre-disposed to showing off? Or knowing that attention is FUN?
I realize I'm asking these questions like I'm not a girl {and I am, of course}, but when did we learn it?

I should have known better. I learned long ago that Ollie doesn't care about performing at all.
I guess I should be thankful that this was only a $5 lesson {+ free toys, so I'm sure we came out ahead}. And the best part is, I'll have a great blackmail story for his friends in high school.

So that is the story of my short career as a stage mom. Jason summed it up well as we were leaving with, "Aaaaannnnnd I guess they won't be asking us back next year...".

Flashback: The Front Door War

This post originally published December 18, 2008

I get a lot of packages at home since I work from home and I order a lot of things online {especially this time of year}, so there is a constant flow of traffic to the front door.

If you have children who nap, then you might know my dilemma.

Every day, between 1:30- 4:30, the FedEx, UPS and Postman all try to deliver things to me. This happens to be the same time that my children nap. Now, for some reason the kids can sleep through the door bell, but they can't seem to sleep through the yappy dogs that bark if anyone approaches our house.

I've tried a nice note on the front door that asks not to knock {which they ignore if I need to sign something or they just didn't read} and I even had the postman only delivering to my office door for a while {this worked fine until he started leaving packages in the rain}.

So, today I've come up with a solution.

Here's our unassuming front door {the deliverer is thinking, "nice little festive home"}:And here is my plea:I'm hoping that a little bit of humor, a star burst of holiday cheer {you like that part? see that it's removable for after Christmas?} and several if/ then clauses will help the delivery person, pacify me {and the dogs and kids, of course}.
And then there's a cell phone number if all else fails.

The note that I'd like to write goes something like this:
Are you kidding me? Please do NOT ring this door bell! It is prime nap time, but I'm sure you don't know that because you've run down to your truck before I could open the door and tell you.

Just drop the package and walk away slowly. Or else.

I'm afraid that I might get a lot of "partial" packages with that note, though, so I settled for the one above.

Update: just checked- 2 packages outside, no knocking or ringing and 2 sleeping babes! Success! If this doesn't end up working, though, I think I'll get a big lion out front and paint it's teeth red.

Too much?

Flashback: Ode to My Son at 15 Months Old

Happy Monday!

First, thank you all SO MUCH for your wonderful support of my post at (In)Courage. I truly felt your love and appreciate every e-mail, comment and message and am doing my best to reply to all of them. Thank you a million times over!

I hope you all survived Halloween like we did and don't have children on a sugar high like we do. Things here are a bit hectic and I am under a pretty big work deadline, so this week, I'm going to update the blog with some oldies and goodies.

I know this means I'm cheating, but unless you are my mom, there is a chance you might not have read this before.

So, even though it's old, please feel free to comment and I will still do my best to get back to you once a dig a hole from under the piles on my desk.

And maybe- just maybe- my brain might be working, again.

Here's hoping!

So, today, a tribute to my sweet little Henry at 15 months. He's now almost 25 months- the age Ollie was when Henry was born. Let that sink in for a minute while I sob quietly. *slurp*

Okay. I'm over it.

Enjoy!

: : : : : : : : :

Originally published January 9, 2009

Tractors in toilets and balls in my shoes,
Cars in the fridge, could it all be from you?

Unrolled toilet paper spread ‘cross the floor,
You’re all the way boy, just looking for more.

You’re into the dog food more than the pets,
That can is full of vitamins, I bet.

You push all the trains then tear up the tracks
It’s demo you love, as a matter of fact.

You have a fake cry that’s terribly sad,
Stealing glances to check if we’ve been had.

You love your big bro’, trail him to all ends
I hope one day you’ll be more than just friends.

That sweet toothy grin sure makes your mom melt
I’m sure no other has felt what I’ve felt.

I hope you seek God who brought you to me
I know that He has great plans, just you see.

A train engineer or a court jester?
A lawyer, doctor, dog food taste tester?

Whatever this life has in store for you
Please give your best because God did for you.

And know that our love will never taper,
As long as you clean up that toilet paper.

I'm at (In)Courage Today!!

....You might assume I had started the semi-annual task of updating my children’s closets, but I’m a professional procrastinator, and big projects are my specialty.

You know the drill for the switch: hours of dragging dusty boxes down from the attic, hashing though worn clothes and sorting the current closet contents to weed out what’s needed for the cold winter ahead. I feel a little like George Washington planning and protecting his troops at Valley Forge- except without the white powdered wig and starvation and such. ...

Head on over to (In)Courage for the whole story!

And if you are here from (In)Courage, hey there! Welcome! Have a click around.
Here are some recent posts that might entertain you:
On Motherhood
On Facebook
On Vacation
On my Husband and my love of Harry Connick, Jr.

Or just click around any old way you'd like.
Thanks for coming by!

Giving up on a Perfect Halloween

My aspirations are not too terribly high. I would only like to be finished baking, packaging and curling ribbon by tomorrow morning. Just in time for the pre-school jam-your-face-full-of sugar sessions.

I don't know why, but Halloween has escalated in the holiday category to somwhere in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Maybe that's reaching a little, but it has made a large jump above St. Patrick's Day, so there are pre-school parties to be had and little gift bags to be packaged. There are also party sign up sheets with positions to be jockeyed for.

In Ollie's class I won a pizza! YES! Swing by the pizza place and have glorious delivery goodness for $5. In Henry's class, I missed the boat and am baking cupcakes. That's okay, though because it gave me the opportunity to buy orange icing. I don't believe I've ever suffered through decorated with it before!

So far, I've done the cupcakes {ran out of vegetable oil and found out you can sub apple sauce!! Wonderful and fluffy cakes- love that tip!} - notice I got rid of the rest of those darn sugar pumpkin things that keep making their way into my mouth-
and the baggies, but still need to work on the teacher cookies

and the ribbon curling on the kiddos' baggies. {bags shown below are lovingly placed on top of a MOUND of 3 loads of laundry needed to be folded}.

I know I need to give up on perfect, like my friend Mary encourages, but this is actually the stuff I love about being a mom more than the macaroni stuck to my jeans.

Did you know that my family owns a florist? My aunt and uncle run it and we always grew up working there in the summers and over Christmas break during college. So, curling ribbon is in my blood. And I love a good teacher gift! Something about the smell of sucking up gift giving in the morning gets me out of bed.

Halloween has come a long way from the years where we roamed the streets barely breathing through our masks and asking complete strangers for candy. To think- there wasn't even a trunk in sight!

But I'm happy for a fun excuse to have a party.
And we won't even have to have slobber on the inside of our plastic Smurf masks!
We've come a long way, baby.

I'm off to finish the fun stuff, but here are a few updates:

: : : : : : : : :

#1- This post is linked to my good friend Mary's Giving Up on a Perfect Halloween at Giving Up On Perfect. Go over there and tell her "hey" {scrounge up a Southern accent if you don't have one} and see all the other wonderful Halloween stories there. She is having AMAZING giveaways, so go comment, link your stories and participate.

#2- BIG ANNOUNCEMENT
I am super, duper excited that I will have a post published at (in)courage tomorrow {Saturday}!! WOW! So thrilled and thankful. (In)courage is the website and blog for Hallmark's Christian division- Dayspring. I would love for you to check it out! EEEK!

#3- Our fun 80s Halloween party we were planning for earlier has been postponed for now. One of the hosts has the swine flu {the dad of the family! Oh no!}, so they figured they would keep that to themselves.
Thank you.

#4- You can still enter the Create a Caption giveaway to win a $25 Chili's gift certificate! You can do it!! If anything, go read the other comments. Y'all are hysterical!